AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: This analysis is ONLY meant to be the opinion of the author. Music and lyrics are an art form, and as such are subject to interpretation by the audience, but at no point should any one person’s opinion be considered “authoritative”. The only person who can authoritatively speak to the originally intended meaning of any aspect of this song’s lyrics is the creator, Kim Namjoon/RM of BTS. Anyone else attempting to interpret his words, including myself, brings their own biases, knowledge base and experiences into it, and therefore has a subjective and potentially inaccurate viewpoint. In writing this analysis, I bring to it my own B.A. in Literature, a Master of Arts in Theology, a Master of Arts in TESOL/Linguistics, and the whole sum total of my personal life experiences. I am a native English speaker, and my understanding of Korean is at a beginner level, so I have relied on the translations of others in this analysis and am not able to comment on any wordplay specific to the structure of the original language. I would encourage anyone who listens to BTS’s music to use their own understanding to analyze the songs from their perspective; analysis, in itself, is an exercise in creativity.
Note: All lyrics were sourced from Genius here (Original) and here (Eng trans).
‘Who am I’ the question I had my whole life
At the start of “Persona”, RM gives us an immediate introduction to the central theme of the entire song with the line “‘Who am I’ the question I had my whole life”. From the very beginning, we know that this song is meant to be an exploration of this question. And, since “Persona” is also the teaser track for the entire Map of the Soul: Persona album, we can infer that this will also be the central theme of the entire album. MOTS: Persona will very likely be a journey with the members of BTS as they explore this question “Who Am I?” through each track.
The question which I probably won’t find an answer to my whole life
If I were answerable with a few mere words
Then God wouldn’t have created all these various beauties
RM is creating a parallel in these lines between the complexity of language and the complexity of himself. He acknowledges that finding the answer to the question “Who am I?” is something that requires a lifetime. However, while this could seem like a negative thing, RM uses a very specific metaphor to point his listeners to the idea that in actuality this lifetime of seeking is not only inevitable but can be beautiful. The metaphor he uses to reinforce this idea is a perfect one for RM, the consummate wordsmith. He says "If I were answerable with a few mere words Then God wouldn’t have created all these various beauties". The “various beauties” used here refers to the “words” in the previous phrase. With this line, RM is telling his listener that the complexity of language is actually proof that his own complexity is a natural thing. We all know RM obsesses over the perfect combinations of words to describe the world around him, his thoughts and himself; here, he is telling us that all those infinite combinations of words he constantly explores are a tangible representation of the complexity represented by his inner world. He is telling the listener that he knows he is meant to be complex because even finding the words to describe himself is an exercise in complexity.
This complexity could be seen as a negative thing; however, anyone who has followed his career knows RM loves words and loves language. He is famous for using language in layered ways and for being so meticulous in his writing that he writes, re-writes, and often repeats this process over great lengths of time. In fact, in his note on the BTS Fancafe regarding “Persona”, he said he wrote and re-recorded the song many, many times before he found it acceptable. Language is his art form, and he finds words challenging but beautiful; as he says here, words are to him “various beauties”. In his speech at the United Nations, RM used a different metaphor to describe this same complexity, calling the whole litany of his mistakes and faults, “the brightest stars in the constellation of my life.” Just as RM used the idea of constellations to demonstrate that his faults could be considered beautiful, here he is using the beauty of the infinite possibilities presented by language to demonstrate that his own complexity can also be a kind of beauty.
How you feel? How’re you feeling right now?
Actually I’m real good but a little uncomfortable
I’m still not so sure if I’m a dog or a pig or what else
But then other people come out and put the pearl necklace on me
Ptui!
The first, and most obvious, reference in this section is to a Korean proverb, “돼지에게 진주목걸이”, which translates literally as “pearl necklace on a pig”. Many cultures have a similar proverb, and one that I believe is especially applicable here is the Biblical version found in Matthew 7:6, which reads, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” The meaning of the proverb is that you should not give something of great value to someone who cannot appreciate it. “Pigs” are likely to trample the thing of value beneath their feet without even noticing, and “dogs” may not only devalue what you are offering but turn around and attack you, as well.
The clue to the second reference RM is making here is found in the word “still”. RM says “I’m still not so sure if I’m a dog or a pig or what else”. The word “still” here tells the listener that this is an issue he’s been considering for quite some time; and, in fact, ARMYs will recognize easily that this is true. In October 2016, BTS released the track “Am I Wrong”, which contained the lyric, “We’re all ‘dogs and pigs’”. The meaning of this line in “Am I Wrong” refers to a famous political scandal in South Korea, from July of 2016, in which a government official told reporters Korea should have a class system in which 99 percent of South Koreans should be treated “like dogs and pigs.” This statement caused huge outrage at the time in South Korea, and in “Am I Wrong,” BTS took ownership of the idea, sarcastically using it as they vented their frustrations about the unevenness of South Korean society. (You can read more about the song "Am I Wrong" and its political/social implications here.)
This is where RM really begins to explore the idea of his own Persona vs his “real self” as he attempts to answer the question “Who am I?”. RM is not only questioning his own worth here but also recognizing that, because of this limitation, he may not entirely understand the worth of what has been offered to him by the world. This is an extremely complex interchange. RM knows he has not yet identified his own worth – he’s “still not so sure if he’s a dog or a pig or what else”. He’s been exploring this question, but he doesn’t fully have the answer yet. The result of his inability to define himself is that he is equally unable to define the worth of what has been given to him. RM does not specifically define what the “pearl necklace” is which has been handed to him, but there are a couple of potential options that come to mind, based on what he discusses in the rest of the track. The first option is simple; the “pearl necklace” could be the fame/glory/celebrity/wealth BTS is currently experiencing. The second is more complex; it could be that the entire “RM” identity by which the public has come to identify him is, for him, a kind of “pearl necklace” which he feels he cannot fully appreciate. At times he may feel like the “pig” who could trample unthinkingly over what has been handed to him without recognizing its worth; other times, he may feel like the “dog” who not only cannot appreciate the gift but attacks the hand giving it. And there may also be days when he is something “else”, not identified here in this lyric, that could produce a completely different reaction.
Therefore, when RM states that he is “real good but a little uncomfortable” he is indicating concern that he may somehow miss the worth of what is in front of him because of his own nature; and it may be that what is in front of him is his own Persona, “RM”.
I laugh more than I did before
I dreamt of becoming a superhero
Now it feels like I really became one
This appears to be a fairly straightforward reference at first, since it immediately calls to mind the song “Anpanman” from the Love Yourself: Tear album, in which BTS compared themselves to a Japanese animated character who sacrifices pieces of himself in order to help others. However, this is also a callback to the speech RM made at the United Nations, in which he described his childhood self and said, “I would look up at the night sky in wonder and dream the dreams of a boy. I used to imagine that I was a superhero, saving the world.” So RM is contemplating not only the intangible “growth” of himself into someone who has the ability to impact the world and “save lives” but also remembering his younger self, reflecting on the actual development he has experienced over time from childhood to adulthood and the changes that have come with that process over time.
But as it goes on there’s so much blabbering
One says ‘run’ another says ‘stop’
This one says ‘look at the forest’ that one says ‘look at the wild flower’
In these lines RM is describing the cacophony of voices he hears around him offering advice.
The first line “But as it goes on there’s so much blabbering” indicates that these voices have become so loud and so many that, to RM, they have become like nonsense words. This line is reminiscent of the one from the BTS song “IDOL”, “뭘 어쩌고 저쩌고 떠들어대셔 (Why do you talk loud ‘blah blah’)”, which is followed in that song by “I do what I do, 그니까 넌 너나 잘하셔 (I do what I do, so mind your own business)”. In the case of the line in “Persona” it is unclear whether this line is specifically meant to address haters/critics, as it was in “Idol”, or simply an expression of frustration over the indistinguishable noise surrounding RM.
The second and third lines are examples of the conflicting advice RM is receiving from all these voices. “One says ‘run’ another says ‘stop’” is easily interpreted as two opposite instructions. “This one says ‘look at the forest’ that one says ‘look at the wild flower’ is a reference to two South Korean proverbs. “Look at the forest” is an admonition to step back and look at the big picture; “Look at the wild flower” is an admonition to find value in the small things of life.
My shadow, I wrote and called it 'hesitation'
It has never hesitated after becoming that
It keeps appearing under the stage or the light
Keeps glaring at me scorchingly like a heat wave (oh shit)
What we have seen up to this point in the track is frustration building on frustration; RM has not yet even identified whether he is “a dog or a pig or what else”, but he is also surrounded by people who are attempting to place “pearl necklaces” around his neck and giving him opposing advice as to how to move forward. Out of this frustration comes an inevitable result, which we see him address in this section: hesitation.
RM’s words here indicate that he knows what his “Shadow” is, since he “wrote and called it hesitation”. Since BTS is clearly connecting their current series to the ideas of Carl Jung, we must look to Jung’s model to define what the “Shadow” of a person is.
In Jung’s Model of the Psyche, the Shadow is a concept that describes the aspects of personality that we choose to reject and repress. Every person has these aspects but because we do not approve of them, or we do not believe society would approve of them, we shove them away into our unconscious and choose not to acknowledge them. We distance ourselves from them as much as possible, to the point that we often do not even know they exist. Carl Jung said “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” and proposed that the only way to resolve this issue was to explore the Shadow self, acknowledging it and in doing so taking control of ourselves.
Therefore, in these lines, “My shadow, I wrote and called it 'hesitation' / It has never hesitated after becoming that / It keeps appearing under the stage or the light / Keeps glaring at me scorchingly like a heat wave (oh shit)” RM is indicating that he knows the Shadow he has chosen to reject – the aspect of himself that he chose to repress – is “hesitation”. In one sense, this is positive, because, in naming his Shadow, RM makes it clear he is aware of its existence. However, the next lines show that he has not yet fully mastered the ability to take control of it. RM states that his hesitation itself has never hesitated and, in fact, “It keeps appearing under the stage or the light / Keeps glaring at me scorchingly like a heat wave.” There is also multi-layered imagery being used here; RM, as a performer, often moves between the world of his daily life and the stage by traveling through the shadowy areas beneath stages. In arenas and stadiums, the performers reach their entry point for the stage by moving through small, often dark, crawl spaces beneath it. On the other hand, when RM stands on the stage with the bright lights shining down on him, his actual shadow is always present beneath his feet. Any time RM looks down at the stage, under the heat of the spotlight, he will see his own shadow there with him.
The final line of this section, “Keeps glaring at me scorchingly like a heat wave (oh shit)” is an indication of the intense pressure and/or apprehension RM feels at the idea of this inescapable Shadow within himself. Although he has identified it, he is not yet entirely at peace with it, and therefore he “feels the heat” of it when it shows up over and over again, uninvited.
Hey have you already forgotten why you even started this
You were just digging it that someone was listening
Here, RM is directly speaking to himself, interrogating himself in terms that are fairly harsh. Since his exploration of Shadow came just before this, it could be hypothesized that this portion of the song is actually meant to represent what he hears from his Shadow when it, “Keeps glaring…scorchingly like a heat wave” at him. If this is the case, then this could be considered a kind of dialogue between RM’s Shadow, his Self, and his Persona. As he did earlier in the song, RM looks back at his younger self, perhaps even to the days when he was called “Runch Randa” and was rapping in the underground scene. At that time, he was “just digging it that someone was listening”, but it seems that he is now concerned that he has lost that sense of excitement/gratitude for the audience, and the internal conflict he feels as a result is part of his “hesitation”. It is also possible that this Shadow “hesitation” RM has identified is, in his understanding of himself, at odds with the “Persona” he has developed as a celebrity and a star, and he has not yet found a way to resolve the two.
Sometimes everything sounds like freakin' nonsense
You know what comes out of you when you're drunk…like immaturity
This is followed by scathing words regarding his own work; not only is it “freakin’ nonsense” but it is like “what comes out of you when you're drunk”. To any listener the obvious reference is to someone vomiting when overly intoxicated, but RM adds to the imagery with an additional, less physical, result of drunkenness: “immaturity”.
Someone like me ain't good enough for music
Someone like me ain't good enough for the truth
Someone like me ain't good enough for a calling
Someone like me ain't good enough to be a muse
This repeated pattern “Someone like me ain’t good enough…” here is almost like a mantra, but a negative one rather than a positive one. Again, this is quite harsh, but seems to represent the thoughts with which RM struggles as he attempts to fully embrace who he is. These statements all appear to represent versions of “pearl necklaces” he feels the world presenting to him. BTS is revered for their music, the truth in their music, the “calling” of their lives as they are examples to the world through not only their art but also their charitable donations and their example of openness. They are also a “muse” to millions of people who are inspired by them on a daily basis. RM’s words show his personal discomfort with these, but within the context of the track we can understand why. Since he has not yet identified the answer to the question, “Who Am I?” and figured out whether he is “a dog or a pig or what else”, he cannot fully appreciate all of these “pearl necklaces” the world is offering to him.
The flaws of mine that I know
Maybe that's all I've got really
The world is actually not interested in my clumsiness at all
The regrets that I don't even get sick of anymore
I tumble with them every night until I'm disgusted
And twist the irreversible time habitually
RM’s words here are especially fascinating. The line, “The world is actually not interested in my clumsiness at all” appears to directly refer to the idea that he believes the world is interested only in the Persona of “RM”, and that there is a version of himself that only he knows, characterized by “clumsiness”. This could be interpreted in more than one way. It is tempting to make the obvious connection to physical clumsiness here, since RM’s public persona includes an ongoing running joke about his ability to accidentally destroy any item with which he comes into contact. However, it may also be possible that what he is making reference to is a less literal type of clumsiness. RM is someone who has experienced on more than one occasion the rejection of the world as a result of his own errors and mistakes. His early hair and fashion choices, his choice of lyrics which were deemed by some as misogynistic, the accusations of plagiarism he had to address, are all things he has admitted publicly to regretting, and could all be considered a certain type of “clumsiness” that shaped who RM is today. There must also be many other aspects of his nature the public would never see (such as his Shadow, “hesitation”) that RM cannot include in his “Persona”, which he also indicates here. He knows that these aspects of himself are not the parts that the world can accept or even wants to encounter; therefore, the irony is that this “clumsiness” is something RM can consider to be purely his own. Since these things are not acceptable as part of his Persona, in some sense RM can hold onto them for himself. In his speech at the UN, RM demonstrated his efforts to embrace these aspects of himself when he said, “These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life.” While he still rehashes these faults and mistakes over and over, even as he knows he cannot turn back time and erase or change them, RM appears to recognize that these aspects of himself are vital to who he has become.
There's something that raised me up again every time
After the preceding sections of the track, in which RM has explored his Shadow and his “clumsiness”, he now tells his audience that each time he finds himself in the repetitive cycle of obsessing over his flaws, faults, and mistakes and is confronted with the ever-present Shadow of “hesitation”, there is something that “raised him up every time”; something that propels him forward when he feels hesitation and a sense of his own inadequacy overwhelming him.
Many people have speculated about exactly what these next two lines mean, so I will present two options others have suggested and then my own theory. What is not in question here is that by “the three syllables of my name” RM is referring to his real name as it is written in Hangul: 김남준.
The first question
The three syllables of my name and the word 'but' that should come before any of those
1. One of the earliest interpretations of this focused on RM’s use of the word “but”, since the phrase “but Namjoon” has come to represent to the BTS fandom the incessant tendency of BTS antis to use RM as a scapegoat for the offenses of others. For instance, when an idol is accused of doing something misogynistic, the frequent response from BTS antis is, “But Namjoon did the same in xyz situation…”, regardless of whether there is any actual connection between the incidents at all. There is, of course, no way to be sure that RM is aware of this phrase, but the use of “but” in this track was assumed by many fans (and some in Western media) to indicate that he was not only aware of it but “reclaiming” the phrase by making it something which helps to motivate and propel him forward.
2. ARMY translator @JL_Kdiamond offered another interpretation, stating:
“내 이름 석자 그 가장 앞에 와야할 'BUT'"
I can't help but get the feeling that this "BUT" has double meaning as to the original English meaning "BUT" & also Korean meaning w/ the same sound "벗" meaning "friend, companion" in informal way.
3. While I believe both of the above are insightful interpretations of these lines, I believe there may be a third approach to understanding them. In the first line, RM refers to “The first question”. In the context of the song, that first question is, “Who Am I?”. The following line is, “The three syllables of my name and the word 'but' that should come before any of those”. If we look at this as a series of phrases/words, and follow his instruction that “but” should come before, we should get as a result the “something” which “raised him up every time” and kept him going, and we do:
“BUT Who Am I? 김남준 (Kim Namjoon)”
Therefore, we can understand that the “something” that raises RM up when he is overwhelmed by all of these other things is, in fact, a reminder of his “true self” – in this case represented by his original given name, Kim Namjoon.
So I'm askin' once again yeah
Who the hell am I?
Tell me all your names baby
Do you wanna die?
Oh do you wanna go?
Do you wanna fly?
Where's your soul? where's your dream?
Do you think you're alive?
In this portion of the track, RM resumes his dialogue with himself and at the same time addresses his audience. After being “raised up” once again by the reminder of his true self, he finds himself asking his original question once again. This time, we don’t just see the “first question” of “Who Am I”, but myriad of offshoot questions related to it—as RM continues his exploration of who he is, these are the things he is asking himself in order to reach the answer. Since this is a track written for an audience, it is natural to assume that these are also questions he is encouraging his listener to contemplate; BTS has always invited their audience to walk with them on the road to self-discovery, and here RM turns his questions not only inward but outward.
I don't know man
But I know one thing
My name is R
The 'me' that I remember and people know
The 'me' that I created myself to vent out
Yeah maybe I have been deceiving myself
Maybe I've been lying
But I'm not embarrassed anymore this is the map of my soul
The dialogue RM is having with himself continues, as he answers his own queries with, “I don’t know, man…but I know one thing”. This portion of the track is somewhat difficult to interpret precisely, but it seems that the “R” he mentions here could be a reference to the various stage names he has used over time. The one consistent thing between all of these titles is that he incorporated the letter “R” into them: Runch Randa, Rap Monster, and now RM (his studio is also now called the Rkive). These names are all titles for aspects of his Persona over time; they are “The 'me' that I remember and people know” and “The 'me' that I created myself to vent out”. There is also some possibility that he is leading the listener here (most of whom would be members of his fandom) to naturally combine the sounds “R” and “Me” to lead to “Rme”, a sort of manufactured homophone of the fandom’s name “ARMY”.
Although RM is clearly aware that these are a created Persona via which he has related to the world (and thus could seem “fake” or as if he is “lying”), he is able to recognize that they are also vital aspects of who he has become. Along with the Shadow of hesitation, his faults, flaws, and mistakes, they are all pieces of the “map” of his soul (see note below). RM can say that he is not embarrassed about them anymore because he has come to see that his Persona is, in fact, part of what makes up who he is (even if he still cannot fully answer the question, “Who am I?”).
Note: The phrase “Map of the Soul” is not only a reference to the title of BTS’s April 2019 album Map of the Soul: Persona but also to the concept of the Map of the Soul detailed in Dr. Murray Stein’s book Jung’s Map of the Soul: An Introduction. The phrase was also used in text at the end of BTS’s “Epiphany” MV, when Seokjin’s character says "to come to the end of the process of finding one's self means to return to the starting point. What must be discovered in the end is the beginning of everything, the milestone, the map of the soul although a part of everyone it is not discovered by anyone, I will try to find it, starting now…”
Dear myself
You must never lose your temperature
Cuz you don't need to be neither warm nor cold
Though I might sometimes be hypocritical or pretend to be evil
This is the barometer of my direction I want to keep
The 'me' that I want myself to be
The 'me' that people want me to be
The 'me' that you love
And the 'me' that I create
The 'me' that's smiling
The me that's sometimes in tears
Vividly breathing each second and every moment even now
Finally, just before the hook reappears, RM brings everything he has explored into a few simple lines. He defines what, for him, makes up the “Persona”. This picture of the Persona which he paints is comprehensive, encasing both his personal expectations and self-created image and the expectations and projected versions of himself created by others. One of the activities BTS has chosen to do quite frequently over the course of their career is to take time to write letters to themselves – they have at various times written to their past selves, current selves, and even their future selves. RM appears to be taking the same approach in this portion of the track, addressing himself with “Dear myself” as if he is writing one of these letters. He encourages himself not to “lose temperature” (not to lose the “heat” of his earlier passion). It seems significant that the only other mention of heat in this track is during his exploration of the Shadow, when he describes it as “glaring at me scorchingly like a heat wave”. In those lines, the connotation is negative/fearful, but here, RM seems to view this heat as part of the pressure that helps to keep him moving forward. He emphasizes that he wants to continue in the direction he’s going now, mentioning that even at the times when his Persona or Shadow are at the forefront, when he “might sometimes be hypocritical or pretend to be evil,” he wants to merely see it as a “barometer” of the direction he is going. The use of the term “barometer” is noteworthy because a barometer measures pressure in order to forecast weather or to determine altitude. For RM, as these various aspects of his nature (whether positive or negative) make themselves known, they help him to gauge his own internal “weather” and “altitude”. In the lines marked by the repetition of the word “Me” works as a replacement for the negative mantra found earlier in the track. Whereas the previous mantra was dwelling on RM’s sense of unworthiness and how much he lacks or comes up short, here we see him fully embrace his Persona, acknowledging that it contributes to the unique pressure level that facilitates his ability to live “Vividly breathing each second and every moment even now”.
Persona
Who the hell am I
I just wanna go
I just wanna fly
I just wanna give you all the voices till I die
I just wanna give you all the shoulders when you cry
Persona
Who the hell am I
I just wanna go
I just wanna fly
I just wanna give you all the voices till I die
I just wanna give you all the shoulders when you cry
In the final hook, RM returns one last time to his original question: “Who Am I?”, followed by a series of statements addressed both to himself and his audience. He appears to be suggesting through this that his exploration of self is not for himself alone but that he is compelled by it to provide both comfort and a means of self-expression to the listener as well. Having already stated from the start that he knows this will be a lifelong quest to answer the “first question” of “Who Am I?”, RM’s final words are full of propulsive energy fueled by all of the myriad aspects of himself.
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